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Writing Fall of Darkness - Fan project that might turn into a game(hopefully)

This thread's author wants feedback on a piece of writing. Be constructive.
usagi-the-nakama

usagi-the-nakama

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Hey! So I was directed here by another user. So far the premise of the story is a combination of the games, manga, and anime(characters who make an appearance throughout the story). The general idea and goal is to amplify the gameplay so that it's still somewhat vanilla, but also challenging for returning players. My brother loves the concept of the story so far, so once I feel confident enough with how it's progressing, I plan on putting it all together to make a game out of the story. Hope you all enjoy what I've written so far! I also plan on turning the story dialogue into more of a script whenever the characters are talking, since I'll need to do that for the game if it ever happens. LOL. Until then!
 

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