In Development Trials of the Viridian Mansion (v1.0)

AenaonDogsky · Aug 18, 2022

Just finished the game, here's my review:

Oh, is dynamic shadows an MKXP thing or has it always been there? nice touch!
Isn't it a bit sudden for Milo to just give you the ocarina xD Also whats with all the Zelda-inspired jam games this year
The well asks if I want to look inside but there is no actual prompt?
Tile choice and aesthetics look great
Ah, I see this is a click everywhere game
Oh, you are the guy who made an ace-attorney game before right? I havent gotten around to playing it yet, but the inner monologue of Stanley at times does remind me of AA mannerisms.
And there is the AA sfx
Ha, I guess it makes sense that legendaries would be treated as normal mons in a mon society, though since it seems tribal, it would also make sense that they'd be highly respected or revered?
Colosseum music instant like
Dunno why but seeing all the mons gathered in the bar like that is just really funny

- The conversation window seems to glitch out towards the lower left side right when the first in-game dialogue begins when elissa and stanley are talking

- This is passable (see attachment)

- Big rocks are passable

- The sign outside the top left house is not interactable

- Tree missing its top half (see attachment)

- Stanley says "you pay for this" instead of "you'll pay for this" when first entering mansion

- Casually dancing on the table (see attachment)

- You can go out of bounds all over the southern part (see attachment)

- This part of the platform is walkable (see attachment)

- that is spelt "ththat" when you select NO during the bannette dialogue

- Flygon says "I must take examine the table"

- Stanley says "how knew threats could be so powerful" instead of "who knew"

- Zoroark says "have you got any ideas" even after taking the plant away

- On the topic of AA-style, lines such as "he's sharp" might feel a bit redundant seeing as this is something the player can tell from what the other character says, same for some of the monologue bits, such as feeling astonished regarding the absurdity of the mansion, etc. What I mean by that is, the inner re-affirmations of certain things feel like anime lines (originally those are used in the medium to prolong a scene for cost and other reasons) and take away from the moment.

- After the initial exposition about the mansion, it isnt necessary to add to the exposition, the character comments many times on his previous expereinces with it. This is subjective, but I do believe it'd be better if the player did not receive commentary on this stuff, at least so frequently.

- The general content of the writing indicates that you have a knack for it - you seem to be the impulsive type of writer, so you'd greatly improve from more structure when it comes to the overall plot writing (the NCPs are pretty cool as is). I wouldn't say that the game is rambly, its more that some of the text feels interjected inbetween well-made dialogue, but the instances were far and few inbetween.

- One big thing I'd like to see is the whole tribes and society thing being depicted rather than told through exposition. It could be an initial cutscene, it could be gameplay segments where the player has to go to those worlds and witness those events (the clans fighting and all that, Milo being handed down the sword). Not only does this have much bigger impact, it also registers the information way better than reading books about it. If the reading of the books was tied with these gameplay sections (so instead of the text, you got to go through those segments) it'd make the game really awesome. Even more points if you get another mapper/graphics member on the team and used some more visual flavor.

- The rooms could be more varied in shape and size, obviously this is a jam limitation rn, but do think about it for the final product

- Many mons have funny dialogue, but some (like urshifus) felt a bit more out of place. I am not talking about him being rude, but the execution of the rudeness could use some more flavor, or a less "obvious" style of rudeness.

- The setting has so much potential, I would suggest taking your time with the final product, taking inspiration from puzzle guides, and making multiple rooms with unique puzzles and themes fro each one. I do think your writing style fits greatly into the wacky setting, the NPCs especially.

- I don't know how wise it is to have vertically stacked bookshelfs, since the player isnt expecting them to be interactable from the sides.

- some npcs that were facing the wall/an object before talking to them should return to their og position upon being interacted with

- Generally, I think the overall pacing could be slowed down. Things seem to be going too fast at times, but this is also a jam thing.

- I just read in your notes that this is your final jam game (hopefully not your last game). I haven't played Chateau of Glass Shards, so some of the things I said might not be on point, but I'd definitely like to see this as a complete, big project. If you focus on 1) showing and gameplay segments replacing the book entries, 2) introducing variety of rooms and puzzles, 3) adjusting some of the protag's dialogue, 4) perhaps adding some more varied gameplay elements to no1, you'll have a very unique and charming game. I loved the setting and the wackiness.

AveryTubeHD · Aug 19, 2022

DogzNDogz113 said:
Just finished the game, here's my review:

Oh, is dynamic shadows an MKXP thing or has it always been there? nice touch!

Isn't it a bit sudden for Milo to just give you the ocarina xD Also whats with all the Zelda-inspired jam games this year

The well asks if I want to look inside but there is no actual prompt?

Tile choice and aesthetics look great

Ah, I see this is a click everywhere game

Oh, you are the guy who made an ace-attorney game before right? I havent gotten around to playing it yet, but the inner monologue of Stanley at times does remind me of AA mannerisms.

And there is the AA sfx

Ha, I guess it makes sense that legendaries would be treated as normal mons in a mon society, though since it seems tribal, it would also make sense that they'd be highly respected or revered?

Colosseum music instant like

Dunno why but seeing all the mons gathered in the bar like that is just really funny

- The conversation window seems to glitch out towards the lower left side right when the first in-game dialogue begins when elissa and stanley are talking

- This is passable (see attachment)

- Big rocks are passable

- The sign outside the top left house is not interactable

- Tree missing its top half (see attachment)

- Stanley says "you pay for this" instead of "you'll pay for this" when first entering mansion

- Casually dancing on the table (see attachment)

- You can go out of bounds all over the southern part (see attachment)

- This part of the platform is walkable (see attachment)

- that is spelt "ththat" when you select NO during the bannette dialogue

- Flygon says "I must take examine the table"

- Stanley says "how knew threats could be so powerful" instead of "who knew"

- Zoroark says "have you got any ideas" even after taking the plant away

- On the topic of AA-style, lines such as "he's sharp" might feel a bit redundant seeing as this is something the player can tell from what the other character says, same for some of the monologue bits, such as feeling astonished regarding the absurdity of the mansion, etc. What I mean by that is, the inner re-affirmations of certain things feel like anime lines (originally those are used in the medium to prolong a scene for cost and other reasons) and take away from the moment.

- After the initial exposition about the mansion, it isnt necessary to add to the exposition, the character comments many times on his previous expereinces with it. This is subjective, but I do believe it'd be better if the player did not receive commentary on this stuff, at least so frequently.

- The general content of the writing indicates that you have a knack for it - you seem to be the impulsive type of writer, so you'd greatly improve from more structure when it comes to the overall plot writing (the NCPs are pretty cool as is). I wouldn't say that the game is rambly, its more that some of the text feels interjected inbetween well-made dialogue, but the instances were far and few inbetween.

- One big thing I'd like to see is the whole tribes and society thing being depicted rather than told through exposition. It could be an initial cutscene, it could be gameplay segments where the player has to go to those worlds and witness those events (the clans fighting and all that, Milo being handed down the sword). Not only does this have much bigger impact, it also registers the information way better than reading books about it. If the reading of the books was tied with these gameplay sections (so instead of the text, you got to go through those segments) it'd make the game really awesome. Even more points if you get another mapper/graphics member on the team and used some more visual flavor.

- The rooms could be more varied in shape and size, obviously this is a jam limitation rn, but do think about it for the final product

- Many mons have funny dialogue, but some (like urshifus) felt a bit more out of place. I am not talking about him being rude, but the execution of the rudeness could use some more flavor, or a less "obvious" style of rudeness.

- The setting has so much potential, I would suggest taking your time with the final product, taking inspiration from puzzle guides, and making multiple rooms with unique puzzles and themes fro each one. I do think your writing style fits greatly into the wacky setting, the NPCs especially.

- I don't know how wise it is to have vertically stacked bookshelfs, since the player isnt expecting them to be interactable from the sides.

- some npcs that were facing the wall/an object before talking to them should return to their og position upon being interacted with

- Generally, I think the overall pacing could be slowed down. Things seem to be going too fast at times, but this is also a jam thing.

- I just read in your notes that this is your final jam game (hopefully not your last game). I haven't played Chateau of Glass Shards, so some of the things I said might not be on point, but I'd definitely like to see this as a complete, big project. If you focus on 1) showing and gameplay segments replacing the book entries, 2) introducing variety of rooms and puzzles, 3) adjusting some of the protag's dialogue, 4) perhaps adding some more varied gameplay elements to no1, you'll have a very unique and charming game. I loved the setting and the wackiness.

First and foremost, Thank you for playing! I've rarely gotten feedback on my games, so I'll be sure to take this to heart! With that said, here are my responses:

- "Oh, is dynamic shadows an MKXP thing or has it always been there? nice touch!" I think it's an MKXP thing. Check out the Route 4/Cycling Road maps. That's where I got it from.

- "Isn't it a bit sudden for Milo to just give you the ocarina xD" It is supposed to feel unnatural, but it's something I'll fix in later updates.

- "Also whats with all the Zelda-inspired jam games this year" Ocarina of Time is my favorite game of all time. I wanted to fit in at least one reference to it since I've never gotten one into my other games.

- "Oh, you are the guy who made an ace-attorney game before right? I havent gotten around to playing it yet, but the inner monologue of Stanley at times does remind me of AA mannerisms." Indeed I did! I had also just finished playing Apollo Justice and started playing Spirit of Justice while writing this game. So, that tended to bleed in. I actually had to tone it down a bit.

- "Ha, I guess it makes sense that legendaries would be treated as normal mons in a mon society, though since it seems tribal, it would also make sense that they'd be highly respected or revered?" This wasn't explained the best. Legendary Pokémon are treated like a mayor of a city for lack of a better term. They are highly revered for their respective attributes, they are also able to mingle amongst commoners without drawing suspicion or having security detail. There is an exception to this, but it is a major spoiler, so I'll stop here.

- "Colosseum music instant like" Like with Ocarina, XD is one of my favorite Pokémon games, so I wanted to get in a reference!

- "Dunno why but seeing all the mons gathered in the bar like that is just really funny" Perfect! I'll talk about this more in a bit, but I wanted to create specific moods with this game, lackadaisy being one of them.

Thank you so much for catching these bugs! I read very fast, so typos are really easy for me to miss. I knew about some of the collision issues, but I had no idea about the ones in the basement!

- "After the initial exposition about the mansion, it isnt necessary to add to the exposition, the character comments many times on his previous experiences with it. This is subjective, but I do believe it'd be better if the player did not receive commentary on this stuff, at least so frequently." I'll tackle this and the first point in one go. This is something I've never heard before, but something I needed to. Especially after the intro monologue, I'd definitely popped my "references to the first game" cherry. I'll take that to heart when writing the next chapter.

- "The general content of the writing indicates that you have a knack for it - you seem to be the impulsive type of writer, so you'd greatly improve from more structure when it comes to the overall plot writing (the NCPs are pretty cool as is). I wouldn't say that the game is rambly, its more that some of the text feels interjected inbetween well-made dialogue, but the instances were far and few in between." I am an impulsive writer. Structuring and pacing plot elements are something I've tried to work on and not gotten the hang of. I hope to have improved on it by the time I work on the game next year.

- "One big...visual flavor." This was going to be in the game! I actually started drawing plans for maps of certain areas specifically for cutscenes but pushed the plans back to the next update, so I had to put some of the information I was going to show in cutscenes in the library. There will be more cutscenes like you described in the future, I can promise you that.

- "Many mons have funny dialogue, but some (like urshifus) felt a bit more out of place. I am not talking about him being rude, but the execution of the rudeness could use some more flavor, or a less 'obvious' style of rudeness." Noted! Writing inherently rude characters is a challenge for me.

- "And just read...the wackiness." Thank you for reading that! No, this is not my last game. I have plans to work on this and my other projects as well as others for the foreseeable future. In terms of Chateau, I want to add some way for you to play the original as an option when starting a New Game. But that's for another time. I'll definitely take your points to heart, since despite type of story I want to tell, I do want this game to be charming and most importantly, unique.

AenaonDogsky · Aug 19, 2022

AveryTubeHD said:
reply

Don't mention it!
More attention to the Col/XD games please, Gamefreak/ TPC didnt even INCLUDE them in the anniversary trailer! Not even a mention! @#$!

Judging from the way you've worded your reply you seem to have a good way of utilizing vocabulary and imagery, so I think a nifty trick that could put those attributes to use (and give an even more natural vibe to "spoken" text, since writing, and writing as if you are speaking without making it seem too write-y, are two separate and different things) would be to put yourself in the shoes of the character you write for, and act it out in a theatrical manner. What I mean by this, is, assume the emotional state of the character, so that the mannerisms come out natural. This takes practice (and a silly-sounding yet good approach is to get some performing experience) but it will help you overcome the character-specific hurdles.

This is, in my opinion, the no1 problem when it comes to writing characters, even highly talented writers aren't necessarily good character writers. The other problem is gaining an understanding of the human condition but this is another topic altogether.

As far as rude characters are concerned, sublime irony (but with a grain of salt) might be a good place to start. Otherwise, the more brutish kind of rude should at least follow a sort of escalation.

AveryTubeHD · Aug 19, 2022

DogzNDogz113 said:
Don't mention it!
More attention to the Col/XD games please, Gamefreak/ TPC didnt even INCLUDE them in the anniversary trailer! Not even a mention! @#$!

Judging from the way you've worded your reply you seem to have a good way of utilizing vocabulary and imagery, so I think a nifty trick that could put those attributes to use (and give an even more natural vibe to "spoken" text, since writing, and writing as if you are speaking without making it seem too write-y, are two separate and different things) would be to put yourself in the shoes of the character you write for, and act it out in a theatrical manner. What I mean by this, is, assume the emotional state of the character, so that the mannerisms come out natural. This takes practice (and a silly-sounding yet good approach is to get some performing experience) but it will help you overcome the character-specific hurdles.

This is, in my opinion, the no1 problem when it comes to writing characters, even highly talented writers aren't necessarily good character writers. The other problem is gaining an understanding of the human condition but this is another topic altogether.

As far as rude characters are concerned, sublime irony (but with a grain of salt) might be a good place to start. Otherwise, the more brutish kind of rude should at least follow a sort of escalation.

Duly noted! Thank you for the great advice!

Tomix9tomix · Sep 17, 2022

Played the game on stream today, I don't really have a lot to say but it was a short and sweet game. I liked all the flavour text and I'm looking forward to what is to come! Keep it up!

In Development Trials of the Viridian Mansion (v1.0)

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AenaonDogsky

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AveryTubeHD

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AenaonDogsky

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AveryTubeHD

Game Developer, Workaholic

Tomix9tomix

The beetle is waking up